Anxious

Yesterday was one of those awful rainy days best spent indoors. It actually rained the entire day without stop.

I was waiting for a furniture delivery, which is a source of tension. I am not happy about the furniture for many reasons. I custom ordered it back in September when I had a job. It took way too long to arrive, it is the wrong color, and it appears to be dented from its trip from Morocco. It was supposed to be built out to my specifications, but I haven't seen any evidence of that work. Of course, I also don't have the means to pay the balance of the piece now.

On top of this, I was also worried that a piece I already don't like will get further damaged in the rain. Although the proprietor came to inspect the stairway and doorway, I am also not confident that this piece will fit through the door.

I spent the day cleaning the apartment and doing chores.

I was supposed to go on a date that afternoon, and was feeling even more anxious as the furniture didn't arrive and the time for the date approached.

I felt ambivalent about the date. The fellow is much younger than me. I don't know his exact age, but I know he is too young for me. He is sweet, engaging, and cute but it isn't a good fit.

Finally, the date texted that he would be two hours late. I used the opportunity to cancel the date.

The furniture didn't come and the fellow at the store didn't return my calls inquiring about the status of the delivery.

I felt anxious all day. By the evening, the things I had stressed about had not come to pass and my apartment was clean.