The Perplexing Male Mind

Years ago a woman who did pro-bono work in a prison told me the inmates would routinely ask her out on dates.

It is unclear what a date within a prison would entail. Oddly, I imagine something similar to a junior high date: the couple talks and kisses while the cell mate on the top bunk pretends to read. It isn't an enticing prospect.

This woman is a smart attorney with a beautiful figure and face. The men seeking her company are incarcerated for life.

It is phenomenal that these men thought a woman who encapsulates Destiny's Child's "Independent Woman" would date them.

These were not intellectual political prisoners such as Vaclav Havel or Nelson Mandela. They are hard criminals who hurt people. Did they really think her dating prospects were so weak that she would consider accepting an invitation to spend time with a dangerous high school drop out confined to a jail cell?

Or did these men over-value themselves to an absurd degree? They are incarcerated for life yet arrogant. Perhaps confinement has warped their self-conception.

Generally, women and men with similar attributes (levels of income, attractiveness, intelligence, etc.) find each other and form relationships. Yet, I've often observed men with modest attributes approach far more accomplished women.

A college friend was a model, and I recall how every man at a crowded bar attempted to chat her up one evening. She had a boyfriend and didn't welcome any of their approaches.

I wondered what drove these men to pursue a woman so unlikely to return their regard. Is it a deep seated sense of entitlement? Are they simply pushing the envelope? Do they have no sense of embarrassment when they are refused?

As I waited at the crosswalk of 23rd street the other night an elderly drunk homeless man asked me to help him cross the street.

His request was a cheeky come-on rather than a feeble person's request for assistance. He wore a lecherous smile. It did not elicit sympathy.

For the millionth time I marveled at the strange ways some men perceive women and themselves.