Hello, This is the Universe Calling

This morning I was laid off.

I was called into a meeting in a large conference room with about 15 others, given a folder, and told that my position was eliminated effective today.

When I returned to my desk, I burst into tears and had difficulty talking with coworkers who stopped over to say goodbye. Now that I have cleared out my desk and turned in my badges, I feel an odd sense of calm.

The constant worry about losing my job was oppressive. Now that it has happened, I feel free to forge ahead full time.

I have been looking for work since I was laid off in the summer of 2006. At that time, the company decided to rehire me before I ever officially left the office. Basically, I just moved desks.

It felt icky to work at a place that laid me off and I wanted to move on, but the educational publishing job market was contracting and I find it difficult to look for work while I have a job. I know this is ridiculous but to me it feels wrong to sneak away from work to go on interviews.

I am hopeful that now that I can devote myself to a search full time, I will find something quickly. It is certain that I am motivated. I don't have a severance package, and the maximum gross unemployment for a month in New York won't cover my monthly rent (which is modest by NYC standards).